Breaking the Ice

I'm not sure if it has been this extra cold winter we are having, but for some reason my blogging skills have been frozen. I hope you haven't been waiting in anticipation too long :)

I think I realize with a child how there are truly not enough hours in the day. Life just starts moving at warp speed, and before you know it you are trying to figure out what to put on the dinner table and already tucking them in for bed. Tucking in for bed at our house is all relative though…more like, rocking, singing, and saying an extra prayer before you creep to bed in hopes that you get a good night of shut eye. Yeah, I said it…we are still struggling to sleep through the night 14 months into this whole parenting gig. We have just begun to realize he loves us THAT much that he wants to periodically see us at times, in the middle of the night, when we look extra pretty and feel real chipper.

The holidays truly remind you of all the blessings you have. Extremely giving parents, wonderful meals on the table (including lobster), snuggles by the fire, and thankful grins. My sister, John, and Olivia didn't get to come home and we all missed them terribly. Just isn't the same waking up at my parents house during the holidays and not thinking about meeting Krissy at her room so we could go look at presents by the Christmas tree together. Although we didn't get to be together, we both got to experience the wonderful gift of watching our kids see presents from Santa. Oh how we have come full circle! I hope you enjoy the snapshots from some of our great winter moments.

Life's a long and winding ride

Better have the right one by your side

Happiness don't drag its feet

And time moves faster than you think

-Kip Moore

Oh Christmas Tree!

The Christmas tree can mean so many things to so many people. A sign the holidays are coming or perhaps a nagging chore your wife keeps reminding you to get done. You haul it down from the attic, put music on, light some Christmas smelling candles, and try not to break your neck while putting the star just right on the top of the tree. Once your stockings are hung by the chimney with care, you get to sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor for an entire month. When you come home from work, it is standing there almost smiling at you. When you go to bed at night it promises to be there in the morning and sheds this glorious glow all over your living room.

Since Thanksgiving our tree has been barren. We set it up before leaving for Thanksgiving with hopes to come back that weekend and deck the halls. Michael got called away for work and it seemed like with him went my Christmas spirit. I strolled with the two boys around the neighborhood and watched all the little families putting their decorations out. My heart became like the Grinch, two sizes too small. "Oh we don't need a tree and house decorated to recognize the meaning of Christmas", I told myself. I found myself jealous of the couple bickering over how to hang their lights and wishing I could say "stop and just be glad you are putting them up together". Long story short, add on me catching the flu to the mix and it was a recipe for a nervous break down.

With Jack away and myself in quarantine, my pity party became even more severe. I practically had the theme song "you're a mean one Mr. Grinch" playing and may or may not have tried to throw a poop bag full of fresh poop at Cooper when he was not cooperating with me as I tried to walk him in the cold. In my darkest of hours I did what I always do when the going gets tough…I came home, put on my Heart t-shirt and faded pajama pants, put in an old movie (normally Breakfast at Tiffany's or Pretty Woman but this time it was White Christmas) and literally cried on Cooper's shoulder. It often times is best to cry with your dog because they can't stop you. They can't offer any words of advice. Plus, you really know you need to get a hold of yourself when the dog finally stands up and walks away.

Today, Jack was back and the house was already buzzing. I couldn't let him see that I was not believing in Santa. I didn't want to tell him that his Elf on the Shelf hadn't moved in days and I may have even sneered at it (I would have used his leg to stir a martini if my meds would have allowed it). Once he was down for a nap I decided to do the craziest thing of all, I decided to decorate the tree myself. I put on Sunny 99.1 on Michael's difficult receiver/surround sound system and put on my big girl panties. The tree was complete before the end of his nap and I was just about to hop on Pinterest when I heard Jack's cry shout out. I brought him in the living room and excitedly pointed out the tree. Okay, no reaction.

As the day winded down and all of Jack's creams had been applied, I watched him playing with his toys in front of the tree. Just a year ago I put a tiny baby under the tree and stuck Cooper's Santa hat on him to take a photo. Just a year ago we strolled around a neighborhood and I sang Christmas carols, and wondered what it would be like when I could hear his first word. Here this little boy stood before me and time seemed so precious. I realized it wasn't the gifts, the lights, the tree, the anything…I realized it was us. No matter how near or how far we are, we all support each other. We have ups and downs whether we are all together or apart, but we must always know how much we love each other. And just like that God gave me the sign I had needed all week. This little boy that never snuggles sat on my lap, turned around and looked up at that tall tree. He finally noticed it. Sitting there in awe I kept waiting for him to stand up. From being too tired from the day he just sat there and snuggled his back into my chest. I started singing Away in a Manger, and he actually laid his little head sideways and started to fall asleep on my knee. My child does not snuggle. My child does not fall asleep on me. My child has never fallen asleep in the living room besides the time he was an infant in a swing. My child knows me just like his father and our father up above. Wait until she is good and ready, wait until she just can't take any more, and then give her all you got. That's when she'll appreciate it the most.

That's a fact Jack

I know I have become sub par on my blog updates. I do apologize. Life has been crazy and instead of sharing all of my thoughts and emotions, because there are too many, I will share some fun family facts.

• Jack is walking so fast he is almost running.
• He loves being outside. Cooper doesn't have any complaints about this.
• He adores bread. Cinnamon rolls, crackers, french bread, waffles, corndogs...
• Michael has accepted a new job. He is very excited.
• I just finished my last wedding of 2013. A big YESSSS!!!
• I got to meet Olivia for the first time this week. She is as adorable and perfect as can be.
• Michael wanted to put the Christmas tree up 2 weeks ago.
• We are excited about spending time with our family over the holidays. Although some very key family members will be missing :(
• Jack had the largest pinata ever seen at his first birthday. 
• We are sad to throw it away so it is still sitting in the front room of our house.
• MiMi made his first birthday cake.
• He loves bounce houses.
• He loves bananas, hence why he was a monkey for Halloween.
• He is saying "Da Da" a ton. Favorite word for sure.
• He also says ball, bye, Momma, no, and yeah. 
• He tries to climb up staircases.
• The teachers at school say he is "very popular".
• His skin is doing good, but we still have our challenges with it. 

Walk It Out

Where is the time going?

Jack started walking 1.5 weeks ago and by this weekend he has completely decided to stop crawling. Seeing him standing on his own two feet really makes him look like a toddler instead of a baby.

I sort of feel like we are all standing on our own two feet and feeling comfortable in our shoes these days. Every little family has to figure out how to make it work and we are getting better and better at going with the flow.

Jack really let's his little light shine. He has so many different ways of communicating with you just with the expressions on his face. I can't believe he and I haven't had a true conversation, and yet we talk all the time. This has made me realize how important your non-verbal actions really are. I see how much he shows me he loves me and yet he has not been able to ever tell me out loud.

Top ten new things with JACKAROO:

1. He loves to roll in blankets on the ground at the end of the day.
2. Touch and feel books are his favorite (thank you Aunt Krissy for "That's Not My..." books)
3. He has started to feed Cooper from his high chair. This in turn has increased Cooper's love for him.
4. He never stops moving in the bathtub.
5. He loves to push buttons on our entertainment center. Sometimes this leaves me without TV for days because I can't figure out how to fix it if Michael is out of town.
6. You can actually lay him in his crib and he goes to sleep on his own (only took 11 months).
7. Avocado, FAGE yogurt, and meat are his favorite things.
8. He loves for you to follow him like you are playing chase.
9. He enjoys getting into things. Cabinets, baskets, bookshelves, drawers...
10. HE IS SAYING "BYE". That's right, he actually knows that he is telling you bye and says it with a country accent.

What Life is About

Rambling conversations
Midnight swims
Laughing until your belly hurts
Cocktails on your front porch
Afternoon walks
Peonies
Big dreams
Friends that you fart in front of
...yeah I said it.

I want to give a shout out to one of my dearest friends. I know she reads this blog and as I grow older I realize how the person she is truly is always an example to live by. My PaPa would always ask "how is that Lindsay doing...she sure likes to giggle." I wish I had some digital pictures of the old truck she parked outside our high school when I turned 16. The golf cart we used to drive through cow pastures. The mission trips, bible study groups, and youth groups that taught me all about having faith. She IS a good person inside and out, and every time I think about her it brings a smile to my face.

Bastrop or Bust!

We spent some wonderful time with Pop, NaNa, Aunt Krissy, Uncle John, and Gail at Hyatt Lost Pines recently. Of course you know Pop captured some amazing moments. Things to note:
-Jack is fearless
-They have an awesome splash pad
-We all constantly watched him (spoiled first child)
-We are super excited about baby Olivia
-He smiles BIG

Young at Heart

This morning I am lucky enough to hang out with both my kiddos. As I was walking Jack and Cooper around the neighborhood my phone was playing old George Strait songs. I like to try and keep them as country at heart as possible. Thinking about simplifying life got me thinking about the titles we give ourselves.

Wife, mom, christian, sister, daughter, friend, employee, dog owner, home owner, car owner, runner...you get the picture. With all of those titles you have major responsibilities. Each of them require time and dedication. I always feel like the second I have a moment to breath, all of a sudden another beach ball hits me in the head. My oil needs changed. Michael needs a dentist appointment. My client can only talk on her lunch break. Cooper doesn't have enough time to poop in the morning. I have not gotten to call that friend in a while. I always fear falling short of not only other's expectations but my own.

Then I look down at a dog smiling and a kid's toes wiggling and realize that they do not have a care in the world. Okay they do care about eating, sleeping and having fun, but really have no responsibilities at all. I wish I could be everything to everyone at once, but I can't. So I will have to be the best I can and love every second I get when I get that precious time to spend with each of you.